Day by day.

I feel like slapping you in your face,

How i wish i have the courage too.

I love you but hate you more right now. 

When would you notice me? When i'm always here waiting?

I'm sorry, today blog post would be pure ranting. You can close if you don't want to read it. I'm emotionally and physically tired of keeping everything to myself. When could i be back to the girl i used to know when i'm not sad and just pure happy? 

First, rant about friends. 

I've many friends but who would be there for me if i needed him/her, or even stand my attitude and let me rant like crazy? WHO WILL? None. Okay, maybe some. I hate having friends to vent their anger on me, okay exception for Celeste because she forever pms & demanding. >< ( Don't kill me ) But i just want a friend who would sit down and let me rant everything about #T although i already told you once or twice, but just let me continue ranting till i'm happy. BUT WHO COULD STAND ME RANTING ABOUT HER RIGHT NOW? NO. Because everybody would be like saying, " It's the past, why bother? " I KNOW I KNOW. BUT HAVE I GOT OVER #T. YES FROM THE OUTSIDE NO FROM THE INSIDE. 

I really hate when i treat her as priority as friend but she doesn't. I tried my best to be always be there for you, always doing what you want me to do, i'm like pleasing you as a friend. When a friend doesn't need to go to the extend of PLEASING. AH FUCK SIA, NO MORE RANTING ABOUT FRIENDS, is making me PISSED. 

Second, rant about family.

I grew up in a family with no dad. EVERYBODY KNOWS THAT. But am i alright with it? No, i need a father who cares for me as much as how others father care for their kids. I want a dad who would fetch me home everyday from school, bring me out for dinner, giving me birthday present and even remember my b'day. Why am i such a girl when my father doesn't even bother about my presence. Am i that bad? But nevertheless, he did shower me with love when i'm much younger. But why not now, when i needed it the most? 

I'm more than glad having a mum who give me unconditional love and my brother who pamper me (sometimes) and a god dad who shower me with love and presents. I should just be glad and don't complain but i just want to rant!!

Third, studies.

Honestly speaking, i'm quite stressed, because all my friends around me started mugging for their N's but i'm not. I want to study hard and get good grades, but why can't i? I studied so hard but did i get good grades? NO. This totally discourage me from studying. Shall not rant more about studies because i didn't really put in all my effort so i can't complain.

I'm not going to rant about my relationships because you guys are going to get bored. For those who did bothered to read this blogpost, thankyousomuch <3