Not anymore.

Why am i not the girl you're looking for? I thought you once loved me too?

Sorry, i'm very emotional right now. Sorry for not blogging too, i'm like watching my Tiamo Chocolate. (: I'm so stressed up with my studies recently that i almost wanted to cry just now, like when quarreling with mummy. Just think that mummy getting a little demanding and bitchy recently, starting to dislike her a twinny winny bit. ): But oh well, she's still my mum. 

375 days already, Why am i still stuck with you? Why am i so pathetic? Why i keep thinking about " us " when we're no longer that " us "? Why those memories keep flowing back into my head, my mind and my heart? Why are you haunting me every now and then? Why aren't you happy when you promise me you'll be happy when i let you go on that day? Why am i not the girl you're looking for? Why you treat her so differently from the way you treat me? Why you love her so much but not me? Why is she the only girl in your eyes, your mind, your soul & your heart? There's fucking so many " why " on my head that my head is bursting SOON. 

Every now and then, stalking your blog, your tweets. I'll cry for sure... It simply feels like i don't exist in your world.. Remember that night i pushed you away and said " I don't want us to be like this, i'm afraid i'll fall for you all over again. " Remember what you said? Maybe you're drunk and you had forgotten. But don't forget, i never once forget anything about you... Remember that day we quarreled in school because of her and i pushed you away and ran home and cried like mad, you came over and ensure me? Why.. why are you so different right now? Aren't you the same person i know? Have you changed so much since we ended the r/s between us? 

I'm begging you, please... Or maybe you could do me a favor, ask those memories stop haunting me. I know you don't feel good right now, you're feeling the same as me. I can't take it anymore. I have been feeling like this for a period of time, but i can't help it and wonder what did i do to deserve all these..

Can't continue anymore, i'm already in tears... Promise me, take good care of yourself babe, i love you, & never will i stop loving you.