Honestly, some quotes kept me going on. As in, because i read all this quote or can say this few quotes gave me strength to hold on.
" The worst part of life is waiting, but the best part of life is having someone worth waiting for "
Because in my mind, in my impression, you're someone worth waiting for.. Probably, i guessed that you had forgotten that promise you promised me in hongkong. Nevermind. It's my fault for not being thoughtful enough for you those time. When all i gave you was stressed, I'm your biggest mistake.
" If you have a choice between me and her, choose her because if you really loves me there wouldn't be a choice. "
Part of the reason why i'll let you go and agreed with the break-up. That's the point of time, i started to doubt your love for me and i guess i'm right. You had fallen for her. It's no longer " guess " it's a fact that you had fallen for her when you're with me. :) Maybe i wasn't enough for you, i wasn't as thoughtful as her. That's why you fall for her. I get it. I get it. :)
Remember there's a point of time when i'm in Malaysia, I told you to make your own decision and don't ask for my opinion. Because i'm not you, follow your heart. And you was asking me why am i giving you away. I'm not giving you away at that moment of time, why would i even give away the girl i love so much? As i mentioned earlier. " Follow your heart " I followed my heart. I got into this messed i am right now.
" Even if i fall in love again with someone new, it can never be the way i loved you. "
Exactly, i wouldn't put in that much in another person anymore. I've learnt so much from this mistake. Or can say, i'm starting to lose faith in love once again. I've got a feeling, i'll start playing with people feeling, but i know for sure. I wouldn't because.. i know how it feels to get played.. by you.. I remember there's a time, when i know you were playing with me, i really want to leave at that moment of time, why did you even... hold me back.. I know i always do stupid stuffs once i'm emotional. That's me. That's what i do. You could just close one eye and just go at that time.
If i did listened to others at that moment of time, i think i wouldn't even be writing this blog post right now.. I wouldn't even.. cry so much last night... I wouldn't even... be who i am right now... But i wouldn't blame you for all this hurt i'm having now. Because i know you did asked me to moved on and turn straight, so somehow i did all this willingly. :)
Next monday, the 300th day i love you. That would be the day... i'll stopped.. Although i planned it to be something special because it's somehow.. a nice number and meaningful to me in a sense.. But i know it wouldn't happen at all, i'm just.. dreaming.... All this while, i'm dreaming... Thinking that one day, yup one day, maybe next year? next next year? You would be back...
I'll never forget the happy time we had together, those little arguments that make us got closer, those lame conversations we have, those times when i'm crying you would draw me closer to you and wipe away all my tears, those times when we spend together...
Bye... I hope and really hope, i could move on. I could stop loving you, i could hate you. But i doubt i could. So... from today, i would act like i did... Please know that i may look i'm alright, but inside me, it's hurts alot. Those truth and lies i got from you... It still hurts me till now... I'll tell myself, i'm your biggest mistake, we're never meant to be, those times when we're together was just.. you're playing with my feeling, you never once loved me. I sounds so evil, but me myself, know the truth will do...
I'll be back tonight with a proper blog post, this is just a blog post i'm ranting about my feeling. I will end this post with this quote.
" True love doesn't curse when it hurts, doesn't give up when it's hard and doesn't hate when it's time to let go. "
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