RANT RANT RANT RANT RANT RANT! As usual, RANTING blog post.
I broke the promise of not talking to her, but the only sentence i said was " Your suspension how many days? " You know the feeling of you wanting to talk to a person so badly when you have a chance to talk, those words can't come out from your mouth. So sucky you know, & seeing her sitting down there stare at me and cassan talk. I really want to like asked " are you alright? " i really felt like crying after i walked out of the toilet. REALLY. We aren't as close as we were. When last time when we see each other we confirm plus chop will say Hi. Now leh? All we do is WALK AWAY. That's our freaking first reaction when we see each other, NO JOKE.
Had the Police talk today, Daren kept reminding me that she's behind. YA I KNOW. SHE IS. But freaking stop telling me could you? I couldn't even talk to her wait wrong. I don't know how to talk to her. And seriously, i really can't stand it when people comment on her new look. I really feel like slapping those people that say it really looks ugly on her. Wtf. It's freaking guy-ish & manly la. Most importantly, Adorable. The first time you see confirm very weird, see long already. It's nice ok! So stop commenting. Not like yours very nice like that. GET IT. HA-HA.
I don't know how to say, i think my mum changed alot after that incident. She treat me really differently, towards the good side of course! She has been seeing my black face for the past few days after school of course. To be a good girl, i got home on time like everyday after school. I don't talk back as much as i used too. I do what she asked me to do. So that's basically what i've been the past few days. Mummy saw the change in me & decided to trust me back again. Honestly, it's kinda easy to gain back the trust between me & my mum. Because she's UNDERSTANDING. :)
It would be good if i could act like it doesn't hurt, i don't care, you doesn't affect me at all. Even if i'm able to do it, it doesn't meant that you're totally out of my mind. You're always somewhere in my heart. Maybe you do those stuffs, to make me fall for you a little more each time. Like last time, which leads me having difficulty walking out of this mess we've made. Maybe because i miss those memories that we once had then i miss you. No wrong. It's 100% sure i miss you & of course our memories. If you would take a look at my organiser. You'll see how much you meant to me. But of course, My organiser right now is something personal. :/
Excited for school tomorrow? Not really though. It's going to be a long day ahead. & i've no idea how am i going to talk to you or maybe i shouldn't like how i did yesterday. But you know everytime i walked to the water cooler. I'll think of that time we nua outside there. Whenever i walk to the ground floor toilet, i'll think of the time we had a " fight " in the toilet & as well as the emo session in the toilet. Whenever i walk to the staff room, i'll think of the time we studied together. Whenever i walk to the red table, i'll think of the time we nua somewhere near there to chit-chat. Whenever i walk to the water cooler near my class, i'll remember what i did to you. That's for those memories in school..
Memories we had outside.. ( Confirm plus chop, this is going to kill, don't read it)
Whenever i go to your emo corner, i'll remember how useless i felt that night. Whenever i go to my emo corner, i'll remember that security feeling you gave me. Whenever i go into the room, every stuffs we did in here reminds me of everything. Whenever i go to CB mac, i'll remember that morning when both of us are late for school & we ended up taking a nap there. Whenever i look down to the fitness corner, i'll remember that drunk night we had with Pris. Whenever i think about the time i went down sembawang, that certain day, when i insisted of going home, i didn't expect you would come down after MIA-ing for that previous night. You brought me one whole big round walking around blocks near your house & you kept messing my hair for goodness sake! Whenever i go to the bus-stop, i'll think of those bus trips we had.... ( Many more )
Now you know how hard isit for me to get over you? Because we did so much things freaking for the past few 9 months! It's easy for you, difficult for me. Remember what you said on whatsapp? You treat me as a sister, & i know you treat me as a sister, care for me like a sister. Appreciate that alot though. I know you care for me because of those promises you made with LCC & i know you don't want to break any promises anymore. Because you broke many promises with me, right? Gosh, i've blogged so long. Shall blog till here! Continue tomorrow! Goodbye! <3
No comments:
Post a Comment